


All I Needed

by EmHunter



Series: 10 Things I Hate About Your Sweater [8]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: A little humour too, Alternate Universe - Office, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Ass-eating, Birthday Fluff, Birthday Sex, Blindfolds, Bottom Victor Nikiforov, Christmas Fluff, Declarations Of Love, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Face-Sitting, Fluff and Smut, Horny Saps, M/M, More smut than fluff I guess, Mutual Pining, Nipple Clamps, Oral Sex, Suit Kink, Tied-Up Victor Nikiforov, Top Katsuki Yuuri, do not copy to another site
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-07
Updated: 2021-02-07
Packaged: 2021-03-13 01:21:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,885
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29270202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmHunter/pseuds/EmHunter
Summary: Victor spends his first birthday together with Yuuri.Yuuri has some birthday surprises and some unspoken promises to live up to.The one-shot that turned into another unexpected bonus chapter of '10 Things I Hate About Your Sweater'.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Series: 10 Things I Hate About Your Sweater [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1727740
Comments: 21
Kudos: 51





	All I Needed

**Author's Note:**

> So, um...
> 
> My first 10 Things post of this year was actually supposed to be my last one last year. I've been plotting and taking notes for this since May. Come December, a lot of life and emotional shit happened, and other stories got in the way, which leads me to post a Christmasy story in February. This was meant to be a one-shot. As it got longer and longer I saw from the word count and the way the story unfolded that this was turning into another unofficial chapter. Somewhere along the way, my horny saps had decided to just keep on telling their story. So here we are, with an unofficial bonus chapter. :)
> 
> I made Victor wait a long time for this and felt a little guilty for giving other stories priority over this one. But here it is now. He likes his present very much. 
> 
> I hope you will like it a little too. xx

_I want somebody to share_

_Share the rest of my life_

_Share my innermost thoughts_

_Know my intimate details_

**(Depeche Mode, “Somebody”)**

“Do you think one of them will finally manage a successful proposal this time?”

Yuuri watched Leo’s car disappear around the bend at the end of their street. He did not feel unlike a parent who sees his kids go off on a school trip. Leo and Guang Hong were on their way to a little Christmas holiday of their own in the mountains and would hopefully ring in the new year with rings on their fingers. The engagement had been lingering unspoken in the air for the longest time.

“I have briefed the shit out of Leo, if he screws up one more time I give up,” Phichit replied with a grin. He stepped a little closer, until his shoulder touched Yuuri’s. They had gotten up almost at dawn to see off their best friends, shivering now in the cold of a clouded December morning.

“Merry Christmas, Yuuri.”

Yuuri smiled when he felt Phichit’s head coming to rest against his. He met him where he was, leaning back against Phichit’s head with his own with just enough pressure that he thought he could hear their hair rustling with static where they touched.

“Merry Christmas, Peach.”

He wanted to say more, wanted to move the Chris-shaped elephant out of the room. His heart was so full of words that had mounted up for weeks and that perhaps could only be said and forgiven at Christmas. But the moment passed before he could find the right ones, the ones that would not put Phichit on the spot, and Phichit retreated again, moved much too soon and left a best-friend-shaped void beside Yuuri in the cold December air.

_Baka!_ Yuuri thought. He turned with a sigh and followed Phichit inside.

Victor was rummaging around the fridge when Yuuri came back into his apartment and closed the door without a sound. He must have switched on the chain of Christmas lights he had strung along the kitchen wall with Phichit, because Yuuri most certainly hadn’t. But the transparent little bulbs were blinking cheerfully in changing blues and whites now. With his back to him, wearing simple black pants and a grey T-shirt, Victor reminded Yuuri so starkly of their first morning together right here in his apartment that a tightness crept from his throat all the way down to his chest until it erupted into the familiar onslaught of a battalion of happy butterflies taking flight inside him. And this time none of the queasy happiness was owed to a hangover.

Or rather, not his own.

Victor was on the phone, left arm bent where he was holding the phone to his ear, while he was moving things around inside the fridge with his right. His voice was low and raspy from sleep and what Yuuri knew had been a little too much to drink after Christmas dinner. The sound wafting over to where Yuuri was standing quietly in this small entry filled him with a solid warmth and affection and made his feet feel too heavy to move. A quick glance over to the living room told Yuuri that the dogs were asleep, curled around one another in a fluff pile of two different shades of brown with a flash of white in between. For once he was glad about it. He very much preferred watching Victor moving around his kitchen from the door without fur balls in various sizes pinning him against it. 

“Chris, I love you with all my heart but can I call you back later? I had too much _glühwein_ last night, I swear to god that ‘Ding Dong fucking Merrily On High’ carol is happening in my head just now.”

Victor closed the fridge and placed a plate of leftover cheese from the night before down on the counter. He trapped the phone between his ear and shoulder when he picked up what Yuuri recognised as the packet of aspirin he had left out for him, ripping open one of the small compartments with both hands. Phone still trapped he reached up to get a glass from the cabinet above the sink and already opened the tap with the other hand. The movement caused his shirt to ride high and allowed for a brief glimpse of pale hip that made Yuuri’s mouth go a little dry even from a distance.

Yuuri slipped off and hung up his coat as quietly as he could. Toed off his shoes.

Victor turned around.

It was ridiculous, Yuuri thought. That slight shift of just about everything when their eyes met and smiles were switched on on their faces like Christmas lights had to be nothing but a figment of his imagination.

“You know, I could swear Chris is secretly seeing someone new.” Victor shook his head, brows crinkled in a frown when he placed his phone on Yuuri’s kitchen counter.

“Mhmm. And I think I know who it is.” Yuuri made his way over through the living room into the kitchen.

Their arms came around each other automatically. Yuuri buried his face against Victor’s throat and hoped his happy sigh was swallowed by the deep breath he took through his nose. Remnants of musky perfume and clean sweat on skin warm from sleep that he wanted to get drunk on and wrap himself in, and that made him hold on tight like he could make up for all the hugs he still felt he owed Victor.

“Good morning.” He leaned back just enough in the lock of Victor’s arms around his waist that he could see his face.

“Good morning, Yuuri.” Victor beamed. Yuuri would never get tired of hearing these very words, ever.

“Happy birthday,” he added and pulled Victor into a kiss with one hand buried in mussed up silver hair.

Victor tasted of the artificial sweetness of aspirin with its tint of bitterness, and of himself, and Yuuri was glad for the intimacy, the fact that they met each other where they were even in the smallest, everyday, human moments. He wondered if it would ever stop, the ground falling away from under him whenever their tongues touched and they both tried to make the other his. He hoped it wouldn’t.

Victor looked a little worse for wear up close. Yuuri moved a strand of hair to the side of this face and tried to smooth the creases of sleep and one _glühwein_ too many he night before with his fingertips.

“How are you?” he asked quietly.

“Perfect,” Victor grinned and pulled him closer where he held him with both arms around his middle, bringing their crotches closer together automatically in the movement. Yuuri swallowed. He smiled, too, because this was such a Victor thing to say, claiming to be fine when Yuuri actually knew better. He decided to let it slip this time, just like he knew he never would let it slip when it was something graver than a minor hangover.

“How does coffee and breakfast sound?”

“That sounds absolutely fantastic.” Victor placed another kiss on his lips, so soft and fleeting that it almost passed for a happy sigh. He turned towards the cabinets to get plates, moving around Yuuri’s kitchen with ease like he was at home there.

“You’re cute when you’re drunk.” Yuuri glanced back over his shoulder briefly before he filled water in the coffee machine. Behind him, the quiet sounds of Victor arranging things on the breakfast table paused. Yuuri bit back a smirk as he measured out the coffee powder and spooned it into the machine.

“Do you mean before I start singing or after I throw off my clothes?” Victor sounded amused, appearing by Yuuri’s side for a moment to get the plate of cheese he had taken out of the fridge, not without taking a cube of vintage cheddar and eating it right there and then. He had done neither of those things, mostly become very tired after celebrating Christmas with Yuuri and his best friends in the tradition they had created for themselves. A wonderful dinner and exchanging presents, watching Christmas movies while they ate way too much and kept refilling their mugs from the big pot of _glühwein_ Yuuri kept simmering on the stove.

“That’s a very tough decision. You can’t sing to save your life.” Yuuri pulled off the napkin he had covered the small bread basket with the night before to stop the leftover slices from drying out. He pushed it towards Victor, who flashed him a cheeky smile before he took both the cheese and the bread to put them on the table. Yuuri waited just long enough for the glass jug to fill with enough coffee for two mugs before he pulled it out and poured two cups, then placed it back and let it keep on working, quietly hissing and spluttering like the soundtrack to a lazy morning.

Victor was just cutting another slice of cheese when Yuuri sank down in the chair opposite and pushed a mug of coffee towards him.

“Thank you, my darling.” Cheese momentarily forgotten, Victor brought the cup to his mouth and took a first sip that made him sigh like he had just been given a lifesaving medicine. Then his brows crinkled in the smallest frown, and he looked at Yuuri.

“Did _you_ kiss me at midnight and whisper ‘Happy birthday’ into my ear or was that a dream?”

Yuuri blushed. “It was a dream,” he deadpanned and popped a piece of bread into his mouth.

Victor’s smile became so wide and radiant, the Christmas lights behind him looked pale in comparison.

“Are you sure we should be moving over to your place?”

An hour later Yuuri seemed a little flustered. He had a small travel suitcase beside him, packed before Victor had a chance to see inside and catch a glimpse of the gift Yuuri had hidden at the bottom under a small assortment of his own clothes. The rest of the suitcase was filled with dog things.

Victor looked up from where he was currently clipping a leash on to every dog’s collar by the door.

“Yuuri. I get to spend my birthday with you and _three_ dogs! I couldn’t think of anything better.” He beamed.

They were looking after Shi while Guang Hong and Leo were on holiday, insisting that Guang Hong looked after Vicchan and now sometimes also Makka all the time, it was only fair to return the favour.

“Okay.” Yuuri nodded. He checked again that everything was switched off before he pulled his suitcase into his small hallway and reached for his coat.

“Where are we letting these three out?” Victor straightened up after distributing pets among the dogs.

“The park by your place,” Yuuri decided while he took his scarf from a clothing hook on the wardrobe and put it around his neck.

His hands dropped to his sides when Victor reached for the ends almost instantly and took over from Yuuri, winding the soft blue cashmere around Yuuri’s neck and expertly arranging it in the front with the ends worked around each other rather than tying a half-knot as Yuuri would have done.

“ _Our_ park.” Victor looked up into Yuuri’s eyes, his hands still now. One of his shoes budged into the space between Yuuri’s feet as he leaned in close enough that Yuuri felt his breath on his face.

“Our park,” Yuuri agreed and stole a quick kiss.

Their park was deserted, their café closed for Christmas Day. Small clouds formed in front of their mouths in the cold winter air, and white frost crunched under their feet as they tread on grass and dead leaves as they made their way over familiar paths. They threw sticks for the dogs and warmed their hands in each other’s every time they needed to take off their gloves. Victor got birthday calls and messages but he accepted only the ones from close friends and family, keeping them brief but charming. By the time they got to Victor’s apartment Yuuri felt his nose was about to fall off it was that cold. They wiped the dogs’ feet down before they let them bolt off into the living room, although Victor was fast on their heels to make sure they stayed in safe distance from the Christmas tree he had insisted on putting up.

Yuuri sneaked his presents under the tree while Victor was cooing over the dogs that were curled up in Makka’s bed at the other end of the room. He quickly drew back his hand when he caught the movement from the corner of his eye, pretending to admire some of the old-fashioned tree ornaments. When Victor skimmed one hand across the small of Yuuri’s back in passing on his way to the kitchen, Yuuri felt it all the way to the ends of the small hair at the back of his neck, where they stood up with the tingling anticipation.

His plans for Victor’s birthday had been deliberately understated. Knowing that whatever he thought up would never live up to the lavish trip to Milan Victor had surprised him with for his birthday, the quiet day just spent together that Victor seemed to have in mind appealed to Yuuri in a way he couldn’t put his finger on. But something fell into place when Victor returned from the kitchen with a plate of antipasti and crackers, and another, smaller one of Christmas biscuits. The smile that burst onto Victor’s face at the sight of Yuuri almost made Yuuri’s knees bend on their own free will and he sank down on the couch before Victor could tell him to take a seat and make himself comfortable. He jumped up again when Victor spoke.

“Yuuuuuri!” Straightening up from arranging the plates as well a bag of dog treats he took from his pocket on the coffee table, Victor pointed at the Christmas tree, or rather, the gift wrapped parcels underneath it. “Presents first! I’ve got something else for you.”

Yuuri put on his best nonchalant face when he reminded him softly, “We exchanged presents last night.”

He had spent a large part of the previous evening marvelling over the gorgeous dark blue leather phone case that was part of the new Crispino&Giacometti collection and wouldn’t be on sale until the spring. Trust Victor to have secured one in advance to give to Yuuri as a Christmas present.

“And I’m the kind of person who only gives their loved ones _one_ gift, my darling?”

Victor didn’t wait for an answer. He laughed quietly as he went back into the kitchen, and Yuuri rolled his eyes at his own naivety. Looking around, he was struck by a sudden idea and grabbed the huge fluffy blanket that sat folded on one end of the couch to snuggle up under in the evenings. Even double-layered it still made for a large seating area on the floor. He added some of the sofa cushions, fluffing them up while he arranged everything comfortably beside the Christmas tree and finally moved the snacks closer to the edge of the coffee table that would be nearest to them.

When Victor came back with two mugs of tea and saw Yuuri sitting cross-legged on the blanket on the floor, his eyes lit up like he had had exactly that on his mind and Yuuri had simply read it. Yuuri smiled back at him. 

The rustling of the bag of treats brought the dogs over, and Yuuri only shook his head very half-heartedly when he saw that some of the parcels under the tree actually had gift tags sporting their names on them. He couldn’t possibly say anything against this; not when the tree lights caught so adorably in the small metal applications in the new collar he had very discreetly put on Vicchan the night before, after he had helped Vicchan unwrap his gift and before he’d let him play with the wrapping paper to his little heart’s content. There were some new goodies for Makka and Vicchan and even Shi, and fancy treats that Victor piled up by his thigh and shielded with his body to keep the curious dogs away from them like they were children wanting to open all the sweets at once.

Yuuri bit back a smile when Victor unwrapped the Japanese cheese knife he had gotten him. The excitement was the same as over the bottle of Japanese gin Yuuri had gifted him in front of his friends. And Yuuri knew that Victor would never not be happy about any gift he gave him, and yet he was sure that Victor had not forgotten _that_ morning and was approaching every single one of Yuuri’s presents with the surprised anticipation Yuuri had seen in his eyes then.

Victor handed Yuuri another wrapped gift with a smirk on his face. It looked a little unshapely, although when Yuuri took it and started opening it, feeling something curved under his hands, he had a suspicion.

It did not prove him wrong.

“Really?!” Yuuri held up the accessory like an accusation.

It was a brown headband with reindeer antlers. A cute pair of ears sat on the outside, a tuft of light brown fur in the middle. The antlers were of a darker brown and adorned with small light chains. One of them had a glittery red bow at the bottom. Yuuri pressed a small button at the top of the bow-less antler more out of confirmation than curiosity. The lights came on as expected, small bulbs blinking alternately in their various colours with a lot of cheer.

Not unlike Victor’s face as he beamed at Yuuri with twitching mouth and sparkling eyes.

Yuuri shook his head, lips pursed in a soft smile, and switched off the lights again. He replaced the antlers and their wrapping on the ever growing pile of small gifts and paper under the tree. And he felt almost sorry about having to wipe off that mirth from Victor’s face, repressing a deep breath as he picked up the elegant silver-wrapped box he had brought in his suitcase and placed under the tree earlier.

“Happy birthday, Vitya.” Yuuri handed Victor his present.

“Yuuri…” Victor breathed as if to say he already had everything he could possibly wish for, exchanging presents with Yuuri sitting close beside him, but he took the box from Yuuri with a smile. The wrapping paper matched his hair, Yuuri only realised now as he watched him bent over the box as he removed the ribbon and paper. There was a noticeable patience imposed on every eager motion that had Yuuri wondering whether it was for his benefit or for Victor’s own.

Yuuri was watching him so closely he could almost feel the hitch of breath in Victor’s throat as if it was his own. He saw the bob of his Adam’s apple when he swallowed, blue eyes moving slowly over the inside of the box. Yuuri knew what he was looking at. He had spent a long while looking at it himself, letting his eyes wander over the intricate pattern of the small screws, over every single link in the silver chain, over the even daintier links in the smaller chains and the elegant crystals at their ends.

At long last, Victor looked up. His eyes were shining with something that made Yuuri’s heart beat faster.

“I _knew_ you weren’t kidding.” Victor lowered the box to his side and crawled forward to cross the small distance between them.

“You did _not_ know.” Yuuri moved instinctively to meet him halfway.

“Let’s call it hopeful.” Victor’s smile was deadly before he kissed him. There was nothing Yuuri could reply to that other than lean into the kiss and feel the excitement and anticipation that was running through Victor all the way into the tip of his tongue when he dove headfirst into their kiss.

Yuuri’s face was still glowing when Victor moved back into his spot, flicked his bangs from his eyes, and reached for another gift under the tree which he handed to Yuuri. He could feel Victor’s eyes on his hands when he untied the ribbon and slipped it over the corners of the flat, square gift. Turning it over he started to peel off the small strips of sticky tape that held the paper in place.

“This better not be something really fancy and expensive.” Yuuri cocked an eyebrow at Victor before he went back to peeling off the tape very carefully, trying not to destroy the paper in the process even though excitement made him want to tear his way through it.

“Yuuri, for god’s sake! Just open it!” Victor’s laugh was half impatience, half exasperation. But Yuuri took his time with the tape, and finally removed the thick dark green and red Christmas wrapping paper.

“It’s a book?” Yuuri stated the obvious.

He had been given one of these 2 for 1 voucher books before, Phichit claiming the best way to get to know each other was to spend time together. Yuuri had told him straight to his face that one of the reasons he gave him this book was that he was counting on the fact that Yuuri would take him along for all these ‘second person gets a second meal/massage/theme park entrance for free’ vouchers. Phichit had replied that of course this was the case and looked at him as if even thinking of any other option was ridiculous.

This, however, was the Porsche among the voucher books. Yuuri could see it from the cover alone, the golden lettering on the stylish black binding, leave alone the word _Deluxe._

“Victor…” Yuuri took an audible breath as he leafed through the pages, saw images of luxurious hotels and the names of famous restaurants he knew to be booked up for months in advance. “This _is_ fancy and expensive. All these places are so…”

They looked amazing on glossy paper alone and Yuuri wanted to up and start checking them out right away.

“It’s time we spend together,” Victor replied quietly. “Amazing food. Nice places. Best company.”

Yuuri looked at him from under his lashes. “Sap.”

Victor grinned.

It came as no surprise that cuddling up on the couch and watching corny Christmas favourites was Victor’s idea of a quiet day in. Yuuri smirked around a bite of grilled zucchini when he saw Sandra Bullock’s name on the screen right at the beginning of _While You Were Sleeping_.

“I spot a pattern here,” he commented once he’d swallowed his mouthful. The memory of their first weekend together was suddenly larger than life. It brought all the feelings of excitement and fulfilled hopes and wishes with it, and his heart beat so quickly in his chest that he could feel it in leaps and bounds that made his stomach flutter and painted a flustered pink on his cheeks.

“I hope you didn’t expect Little Lord Fauntleroy or something because I honestly can’t stand him.” Victor glanced up at him momentarily before he brought a slice of dried tomato to his mouth, carefully holding a napkin underneath so he wouldn’t drip olive oil all over the place. They’d opted for sitting side by side for the time being as long as they were eating, close enough that the whole lengths of their thighs touched and their heads found comfortable resting places against each other shoulder’s.

“Phichit is very passionate about hating him, too.” Yuuri grinned and popped an olive into his mouth before he cuddled up closer to Victor’s side.

When the movie ended and Victor started the next one, Yuuri felt his excitement in the way he fidgeted beside him on the couch, even in the way his fingers moved so quickly on the remote control. Yuuri’s eyes flickered back and forth between the TV and screen and Victor as he leaned forward, about to grab a biscuit.

“This looks…” Old, he almost said, but stopped himself because of the happiness in Victor’s eyes. “Traditional.”

“This is the most popular Christmas movie in this country,” Victor said meaningfully.

It was a Cinderella story, Yuuri realised quickly. Except that Cinderella was called Aschenbrödel in this version, named after the ashes staining her face and clothes because she had to do lowly servant’s work. He was watching Victor’s profile where he sat next to him on the sofa, fascinated by how immersed Victor was in the movie.

“Look at the screen, Yuuri,” Victor murmured without turning his head, but he was smiling. Yuuri was reminded of a very similar moment when their roles had been reversed on Bollywood night, Victor watching him instead of the movie and he’d had to remind him to turn his attention to the TV.

He saw Victor’s smile deepen just before he turned his head.

Aschenbrödel was riding through a winter landscape, enjoying a few precious, stolen moments of freedom. She dropped back her head and closed her eyes time and again, just breathing, being. Yuuri believed he could smell the cold winter air, he felt right there between the snow-covered trees. The music, the scenery, the girl despite her raggedy, soiled clothes, were simply…

“Beautiful,” Yuuri remarked quietly as he sank deeper into the sofa.

“Yuuri.”

He looked up and blinked several times when he heard Victor say his name, surprised by how immersed he had been in the fairytale unfolding on TV and, more than anything, the music.

“What were you just thinking?” Victor’s ear almost touched his shoulder, he cocked his head so much. “You looked absolutely dreamy.”

Yuuri flushed. “Nothing.” He shook his head but his cheeks kept burning. “It’s a lovely movie.”

Victor moved closer until he was almost wound around Yuuri on the couch like an octopus.

“Yuuuuriii...” There was no escape when Victor leaned his face in as close and said his name like this, Yuuri knew it, so deep and low and luring like one of his octopus cuddles. “That’s _not_ what you were thinking.”

Yuuri huffed a little, eyes on the TV screen. Aschenbrödel was dancing with the prince at the ball, her face hidden behind a small veil but their eyes said everything. The palace musicians played a version of what Yuuri had decided was the movie’s love theme.

“It’s just...” He sighed and rested his temple against Victor’s. He felt he couldn’t look at him just now. His train of thought was too ridiculous, it was much too early, too far out there, destined to derail. They had only gone there once before, just a fleeting moment whose time hadn’t come but that they knew was somewhere in their path if they went on down this road together. Yuuri spoke so softly he barely heard himself.

“Imagine having a daughter to watch this movie with at Christmas. It would be... perfection.”

It was fascinating, how still someone could go who was not moving at all. Yuuri felt the weight of his words settle over Victor, over the both of them, like the thick, cold layer of snow on the stairs Aschenbrödel was just running down as she fled the palace and the prince, one of her dance shoes lost and left behind in haste.

Victor’s lips connected with his skin, just next to his ear. They filled him with warmth, and shared dreams and longing, and the certainty that this feeling he had with Victor, that he could tell him anything and nothing would ever be wrong or unwanted, was as true as ever.

“Let’s ask Yūko and Takeshi if we can babysit the triplets again soon,” Victor said close to his ear. His arms squeezed Yuuri tighter. “I bet they’ll love this movie.”

“Yes.” Yuuri smiled and squeezed back, arms over Victor’s, head turning enough so their mouths could brush in a kiss that he knew sealed the only answer and the only comfort they were able to give each other at this moment.

Dusk was already creeping over the horizon when they took the dogs outside again. Just a small turn around the park, but Yuuri welcomed the moving about after four sappy movies and more antipasti and baked Christmas delicacies than he dared count. He watched Victor in the warm glow of the lights lining the walkways and illuminating the park in the evenings. Hearing him cooing over the dogs and talking to them when he picked them up to cuddle them did things to Yuuri. It brought a queasiness to his insides and a biting red into his cheeks that had nothing to do with the cold. Catapulting him back several months, it made him see Victor sitting on the floor of his small hallway again, the first time he brought Victor home for Bollywood night. Yuuri could see him getting Shi’s white hair all over his winter coat just like he had over his fancy suit back then, cuddling both him and Vicchan with all the passion of someone who had fallen instantly in love. Another memory of what Victor had got up to in this very coat made the flush on Yuuri’s face deepen, and he quickly held up his face to the first snowflakes that were falling softly like soundless comfort. Of course, on that first Bollywood night Yuuri had also believed Victor was very much taken and had a family.

The low barking of the best girl who’d had her ‘papa’ worried back then disrupted his trip down memory lane. With her paws up on his chest, Makkachin was almost as tall as him, and Yuuri wrapped his arms around her instinctively. She looked like she was smiling, panting with her tongue lolling out.

“I don’t know who I should be more jealous of, you or her.”

Victor’s amused voice sounded suddenly quite close by his side.

“Look who’s talking.” Yuuri ran one hand lovingly through Makka’s fur while he looked at Victor and the two smaller dogs he was cradling in both his arms. Vicchan especially looked very smug, Yuuri thought, the way he was at home in Victor’s arms as if he wanted to tell Yuuri, ‘ _You_ never carry me through the park like this!’

“They’re cold,” Victor stated.

“Sure.” Yuuri was certain all the amused and affectionate disbelief he felt was showing on his face. Makka went down but stayed close, nudging her head against Yuuri’s leg as he brought one of his hands into the back of Victor’s head and leaned in close for a kiss. Victor’s lips were cold. Yuuri smiled against them when he pulled back, murmuring, “Let’s go home.”

One of Victor’s hands slipped into Yuuri’s the moment he put both dogs back on the ground and gripped the leashes tight with the other.

Victor insisted they move down onto the floor and close to the Christmas tree again once the dogs were fed and snuggled up in one big furry pile in Makka’s oversized bed by the radiator. They ate a pasta dish Yuuri quickly threw together, and the blankets and sofa cushions on the floor created a strange winter picnic feeling in the Christmas tree lights. Yuuri lay back and crossed both arms under his head. Staring at the twinkling multicoloured lights dancing on the ceiling, he savoured all the warmth and cosiness, and the feeling of home and comfort while he could hear Victor moving about in the kitchen. Music was playing from a small stereo, one of Victor’s usual sappy playlists, only that this one was Christmas-themed. He was sure he had heard many of these songs before; Phichit had a similar playlist for the season. For a moment, Yuuri allowed himself to shut his eyes and just listen. He smiled with his eyes closed.

_All I needed was the love you gave… all I needed for another day…_

There was something nostalgic about this song that would have had a hard time making the charts nowadays. The kind of song that might have played on the radio in some old man’s back garden in Hasetsu, who didn’t understand the words but hummed along nonetheless. All of a sudden, Yuuri missed Hasetsu. He missed the beach, but he didn’t miss the thoughts he had harboured at the sight of happy couples, walking along there growing up. Of course, Yuuri had had a boyfriend since then. He had been in a fairly long-term relationship, and it had never been boring in the bedroom. Or in the car in the drive-in cinema. He had had dates, and he had slept with two other people and it had been good. He had gone on a date with a guy who was at least as enamoured of dogs as Yuuri was and had turned out to be the worst kisser in the whole world. And then there was Victor. Yuuri had never been with someone like him. The total package. Someone so kind and committed, so smart and witty. Someone so sappy and romantic that Yuuri’s favourite Bollywood moments paled in comparison. Someone so ruthless when it came to protecting who and what he loved the most that one didn’t want to be on his bad side. Someone Yuuri felt absolutely sure he could tell everything. Someone Yuuri couldn’t look at most of the time without wanting to jump him. He knew it was normal. Early days. Everyone jumped each other all the time at the beginning of a new relationship. But if he was very honest with himself, and here his smile deepened, Yuuri was hoping that those days and those feelings would never lose their power.

His eyes flew open. Victor was leaning in the open doorway to the kitchen and watching him, a mug of a steaming hot drink in each hand, and his gaze lingering suspiciously long on Yuuri’s midriff. Yuuri’s hands came down instinctively to tug on the hem of his sweater. It was silly, and yet he felt a touch of relief when he felt the sweater had not slipped up as he lay down sprawled lazily on the blanket.

Not that it made any difference to the way Victor was eating him up with his eyes.

They drank slowly - hot chocolate spiked with Baileys, Yuuri noted after the first careful sip - while they sat on the floor and picked through some more small wrapped parcels under the tree. As soon as the drinks were empty, Yuuri found himself breaching the small distance between them by giving in to the gentle pull of Victor’s hand on his until he was sitting between Victor’s legs leaning against his chest with his back. Victor had put every single gift he had received under the tree, including the small chocolate from the supermarket checkout and the freebie calendar with _Granny’s Best Recipes_ from their favourite café near the park.

Yuuri knew he couldn’t blame the alcohol for his curiosity getting the better of him and wanting to know every single thing under this Christmas tree. It felt like he was getting to know more about Victor himself. They snorted and giggled their way though several stilted cards from current and, strangely enough, former business partners. Heat seeped into Yuuri’s body where he leaned into Victor and Victor’s arms came around him. Where Victor’s chin rested on his shoulder and he could feel him breathing and talking and chuckling, all warmth and comfort bundled right next to his ear. Time and again he would tilt his head as far back as possible, searching for Victor’s mouth. Victor always found him, waited for him with kisses that fanned the flames Yuuri felt simmering inside him into a blazing fire he could feel like lava in his veins. He felt it in the lazy drawl of Victor’s hands over his thighs, the tease of fingertips sneaking under his shirt and caressing his hips. He knew as well as Victor where this evening would end, but this, taking their time and revelling in the build-up, the anticipation, was enough to make Yuuri feel breathless and getting hard already. But there was more. There was a glowing, fuzzy feeling burning inside him like a steady, persistent flame, that made him hesitate to take this further yet and filled him with warmth at the fact that Victor was clearly cherished by so many people. Not all of these gifts were just standard giveaways of obligation, or small tokens of appreciation. Yuuri wanted to know every thought that had been put into gifts for Victor like they could give him more of a clue about the man he loved.

“This is the same card as the one they sent last year,” Victor commented drily on the one he had just opened. This particular company had abandoned them as one of the first ones during their crisis. The nerve of them to even send an annoying ‘We are looking forward to continuing our successful collaboration in the new year!’ Christmas card, Yuuri thought with a very quiet huff.

He frowned at the printed name and signature. “Don’t they even have a new CEO by now?”

“Exactly.” With a sigh of exasperation, Victor threw the card back under the tree on the box of cheap chocolates it had come with. He picked up the voucher book he had given Yuuri and opened a random page.

“Let’s look at where we’re going first.”

“I have a better idea.” Yuuri took the book from Victor’s hands and picked up their mugs from where they had put them on the floor. Holding them all in one hand he supported himself on the other and turned onto his knees. He was almost sure he could feel Victor’s eyes following the curve of his arse when he placed one foot on the floor and rose on one knee, stretching to lean over and place the book and mugs safely on the coffee table. He made sure that the mugs were empty and the book was well out of the way of them. Just in case some curious dog decided to investigate and knock them over. Behind him, he heard Victor rustling with more wrapping paper.

Sitting back down and looking at him, Yuuri groaned.

“ _This_ has got to go.” He tugged on the fluffy white pom pom at the pointed end of the Santa hat Victor was now wearing. This had to have been in the parcel with a tag in Chris’ handwriting he had spotted earlier.

“Yuuuuuuri! It’s Christmas.” Victor reached up and pressed a button that was hidden in one of the plastic stars and that switched on lights that had the stars lining the brim of the hat twinkling and blinking in festive reds and greens.

“Victor! Either this goes or my boner.” Yuuri shook his head and turned away in exasperation.

“And stop pouting!” he added as an afterthought as he picked around the wrapping paper strewn on the floor around them and started folding some of it up. When he turned back to face Victor a moment later, he was wearing the reindeer antler headband.

Victor gave a short whistle of appreciation.

Laughing, Yuuri threw himself on him.

A short while later Yuuri found himself leaning over Victor, weight resting on both elbows while he couldn’t hear the music anymore over the breathless, wet sounds of the kisses they filled the room with and the hammering of the blood in his ears. Deciding that playtime was over, Yuuri reached for his head and yanked off the antlers, threw them as far away as he could while he kept on kissing Victor like there was no tomorrow. His sweater and then Victor’s Santa hat were next, flung carelessly aside while Yuuri drove his tongue deeper into Victor’s mouth and moaned into their kiss because Victor’s hands felt so warm and deliciously possessive under his sweater.

One of his knees between Victor’s legs on the floor, Yuuri gyrated his hips deeper into their needy motions, swallowed Victor’s groan and relished in the way Victor’s fingers dug into his hips and pulled him closer into their rhythmic grinding together, bodies speaking where they gladly deprived each other of words.

They broke apart, panting, Yuuri running one hand through his hair as he already scrambled to his feet from the floor. He held out one hand to help Victor up but Victor was looking around, seemingly disoriented for a moment as he dug around the boxes under the tree and finally reached for one of them.

“We don’t have to,” Yuuri said, chest heaving with quickened breaths.

“Oh, I think we do.” Victor took Yuuri’s outstretched hand and got up from the floor.

Yuuri frowned just a little bit. “Please don’t tell me you’ve been thinking about the nipple clamps all this time while we were watching sappy Christmas movies.”

Victor cocked his head in consideration. “Okay, I won’t tell you,” he said at last.

It made Yuuri laugh all the way to the bathroom, but the glance he threw back over his shoulder at Victor was like a heated promise.

When Yuuri came in from the bathroom Victor was sitting on the edge of the bed, already undressed down to a pair of those tight black Italian briefs that Yuuri found hotter than he would ever admit. Victor had taken the nipple clamps out of the box and was turning them over in his hands, drawing fingertips over slim silver chains like a caress of anticipation. Both bedside lamps were on, and the spots in the ceiling had been dimmed down just enough to cast their usual soft focus on the bed. There was no sappy music playing right now, perhaps this was why Yuuri thought he could hear every single heartbeat in this room. Victor looked up when he caught the motion from the corner of his eye, and Yuuri felt too weak to give in to the smirk pulling at the corners of his mouth, because Victor’s gaze draped like a caress over his body in all its unabashed, half-aroused nakedness. He made his way over to the bed. The smallest smile passed between them when he sat down beside Victor, their knees touching.

“Is this still part of my birthday present?” Victor winked.

Yuuri felt himself blushing, and the faint tickle of some unruly strands of wet hair falling back into his forehead where he had slicked them back with wet hands after his quick shower.

“That night we got back together I had a thought…” Yuuri started.

“Only one?” Victor teased, but his tone was nothing but softest encouragement.

Yuuri’s mouth eased into a tiny, excited smile.

“I thought we could try something.” Yuuri licked his lips. Feeling Victor’s eyes right there on the small, unconscious action turned a key on his heartbeat so that it felt like he had a wind-up toy in his chest.

“Anything. Try anything you like, my darling.”

As he leaned past him and opened the top drawer of the bedside table to reach for what he had hidden there earlier, Yuuri hoped Victor would still have this eager smile on his lips and flicker in his eyes in a moment. Although he very much doubted it, at least concerning one of the items he held in his hand when he sat back and saw Victor’s eyes widen.

“Oh _no_ , my darling, not this one!” Victor exclaimed in slight horror and wanted to reach for the light blue tie.

Yuuri held the tie out of Victor’s reach. “Don’t worry,” he grinned, even though his breath was hitching in his throat. “You won’t even see it,” he added. And showed Victor the blindfold.

Victor’s smile became wide and wolfish.

Yuuri took a deep breath. It felt shakier than he’d reckoned. “Victor.” His lips were still dry, and he licked over them again. “If anything, at any point, feels—”

“I’ll _tell_ you,” Victor interrupted him.

For a long moment they looked at each other, breathing and heartbeats almost loud in the silence of the room.

“I have a mouth to speak, Yuuri, and no inhibitions about using it.”

Yuuri exhaled, relief washing over him. He did not doubt that for one moment. And he felt so lucky.

“Yuuri.” Victor cocked his head very slightly to the side. “You know who I was with before. Handing over control is not something I have been able to do in previous relationships, or was aware that I could want to, or can. But this is none of that. This is different. Trying new things. Exploring. Remember how I told you I don’t ever want you to stop telling me about your saucy dreams because we’re going to make every single one of them come true? I meant that. I still do.”

Yuuri nodded. “What about _your_ saucy dreams?” he asked. An excited smile ghosted over his face.

“ _You_ are all my saucy dreams,” Victor replied immediately. He moved in close so that he was able to cup Yuuri’s face with one hand.

“Yuuri. This is me. Not Fifty Shades of Bollocks. So, relax. This is just us.”

Yuuri brought his forehead closer, until it touched Victor’s and he placed tie and blindfold blindly on the bedside table so that he had both hands free to cup Victor’s face. “Never ‘just,’” he insisted and kissed him.

The chain made an enticing quiet clinking sound in Victor’s hand. Yuuri felt the dainty silver, brushing cold against his skin where Victor held on to him and pulled him with him when he lay back on the bed. Victor rolled them over, and his silver bangs fell like feathery moonlight into Yuuri’s face as he paused from kissing Yuuri, only to look down at him for a moment from eyes that were dark with arousal, and to run his tongue along Yuuri’s upper lip before he plunged right in again, covering Yuuri’s lips with coaxing, almost provoking open-mouthed kisses. Yuuri felt what they were doing to the both of them, from the tension in the shoulders he dug one hand into, all along the curve of Victor’s spine he redrew with his fingers, last but not least where their cocks brushed hard with need and Yuuri’s fingertips felt wetness seeping through the cotton of Victor’s briefs when he forced his hands between their bodies where they were most angrily straining towards each other.

Yuuri let his legs fall apart a little more as he moved into Victor’s every kiss, every touch, and his fingers hooked into the waistband of Victor’s underpants. He worked them down over Victor’s butt and fast filling cock, and he felt the moan resound in both their mouths even though he picked that very moment to strategically suck Victor’s tongue deeper into his mouth. Making use of his other hand he wrestled the briefs down Victor’s thighs as far as possible. Then, he brought up one leg over Victor’s like an experiment, rubbing his ankle over Victor’s calves and relishing in the way it made Victor move more frantically between his thighs in an unmistakable rhythm as if he was fucking him already and not just grinding their erections together with his legs still confined by his underwear somewhere above his knees. Victor yanked his mouth away from Yuuri’s and stared down at him, gasping, eyes wide open with disbelief and the acute pleasure of Yuuri’s toes and the sole of his foot inching up the back of his legs. For a moment Yuuri wondered if he would be able to remove Victor’s underwear with his toes, and just as if he was able to read his intentions, Victor threw back his head and laughed.

“You’re _unbelievable_!” Victor exclaimed, shaking his head at Yuuri, who felt as smug as he felt flustered.

“That’s _my_ text!” Yuuri used Victor’s momentary distraction to flip them over and jump to his knees by Victor’s side in one lithe movement. He was down by the lower end of the bed within seconds, tugging Victor’s underwear down his legs until Victor felt his briefs around his ankles and was able to kick them off and send them over the edge of the bed.

“Get back here,” Victor rasped out and already reached for Yuuri. 

It was one of Yuuri’s favourite moments, clashing skin on skin, and a feverish arousal burning away every possible worry about bruises. They kissed like this for moments on end, heated, rutting against each other with hands so busily roaming over every inch of skin they could reach that they felt multiplied. Yuuri rose on his knees, thighs clenched around Victor’s waist, Victor’s arms stretching out into the small distance because they refused to let go of Yuuri’s hips. The fingers digging into his hips felt delicious to Yuuri. He leaned over to where the light caught in the silver chain and reached for the clamps on the bed, brought them closer. A flicker of anticipation dashed across Victor’s eyes, blue flames shooting right into Yuuri’s core like an arrow fired off by some naughty cupid.

Yuuri took his time. Staying close to Victor at all times he moved on his hands and knees, all over and close beside Victor and trying never to lose contact as if his skin would crumple and perish if it lost touch. There was very little resistance when he brought Victor’s arms up and together above Victor’s head, placing the wrists together like a premonition, still yet untied. Victor shivered underneath him when Yuuri worked his way down the inside of one arm, kissing taut skin, nuzzling muscle and breathing in delectable man. He placed a kiss in one armpit and forced Victor to mutter his name with this in such a breathy, sensuous way that it made Yuuri’s ears ring and his need grow further. He lingered on the other arm, saw the way Victor moved his head into the pillow and sighed into his touch with his eyes closed, and it made Yuuri glad, and turned on, and eager. He kissed his way down from Victor’s closed eyes, brushing his lips just very lightly with his mouth like a tease, across his jaw and neckline, feeling his pulse with his mouth and licking into his collarbone until he had Victor moving restlessly under him. Yuuri smiled with closed eyes and sampled the taste of Victor’s skin. He loved tasting delicacies, and this was by far one of his new favourites.

Victor’s chest would never not make Yuuri’s mouth water, he knew it, and he wanted Victor to know it too. Somewhere above his head he could hear the laboured breathing and the soft moans as he continued his trail of kisses and exploring with his tongue, eyes closed to increase the pleasure for his other senses. He used his lips, his teeth, his tongue in all the possible ways he could imagine, he let Victor’s breathing guide him to all the right ways of stimulation. Yuuri had read up on this, of course, and he put his all into getting it right. He knew Victor’s body well by now and he was not afraid of using this knowledge, but the beauty of the way Victor’s breathing alone leaped and bound like in a dance of its own when Yuuri grazed one sensitive nipple with his teeth was still overwhelming. Tonight, there was a new tune to it. A new need, an urgency that had not been there before. When Yuuri picked up the clamps and his eyes darted to Victor’s face, he found that Victor’s eyes were open and looking straight at him. Curious. Wanting. Yuuri, on the other hand, felt a nervous craving that was also new. So luring. And tempting. He felt it in the effort he made swinging his knees over Victor’s middle, striving for nothing less than perfection.

Like he had before on this day, he felt Victor watching, _felt_ his eyes on every movement of his hands.

He could see how Victor tried to reign in his excitement by the rise and fall of his chest evening out, going still for him. Even the strain of the breath Victor was holding was like his own, Yuuri thought when he leaned forward, holding himself straight simply by the tension in his thighs. One last brush with the tip of his thumb, Yuuri decided. Victor drew in a sharp breath, his nipples even more sensitive now, Yuuri felt it even the small movement of just his thumb. He put the clamp on as carefully as he could. The rubber tips were soft enough, he had run his fingertips over them several times to make sure. Then he looked up, desperate to see Victor’s face.

Victor was smiling. Breathing just a little faster through his nose. But he was watching Yuuri through the strands of hair falling into his eyes, watching Yuuri’s face, and then Yuuri’s hands once more when he moved on to the other nipple, fastening the clamp in the same, careful way before he leaned back on his heels.

“Fuck…” Yuuri breathed. He was staring, he knew, but he couldn’t help himself.

Victor was not just made of but also _for_ silver. The clamps highlighted the bashful red of arousal of his erect nipples. Where the small chains fell down from the lower ends of the clamps, a small crystal at the end of each caught the lights time and again as it moved across smooth, pale chest whenever Victor was moving, writhing as pleasantly on the bed as a very happy cat. The longer, bigger chain that connected the clamps swung gently between his ribs with his every move.

He looked breathtaking.

And Yuuri knew; he barely remembered how to get air into his lungs.

“Not yet.”

Yuuri’s eyes darted up to Victor’s face at the comment, caught the mischievous twinkle, and he was grateful for the humour that broke the spell. It felt harder than he had reckoned, moving, doing something now, when he felt like he could keep staring for all eternity. He leaned forward to touch, and it felt like he was going near one of those artworks they had looked at on school trips and been told not to lay a finger on, except that here and now, he had every permission. Skimming both hands down Victor’s front, fingers on his ribcage, accidentally tugging lightly on the chain as he did so. Victor moaned and arched his back. Yuuri almost gasped. Want rushed through his entire body. He wanted Victor to look and feel like this forever, while at the same time he wanted to feel the same sensations and filed the wish away with an imaginary red star of urgency for the next time.

Yuuri knit his brows together when he saw Victor reaching for the small adjustable screws on the clamps, and he quickly stopped him from adding pressure with a hand around each of Victor’s wrists. 

“Next time,” Yuuri promised, words like kisses against Victor’s helplessly opened, panting mouth.

He grabbed the tie from the bedside table and rose on his knees, bending over Victor as he brought both of Victor’s arms high over his head. Victor instinctively moved a little further down on the bed, finding a spot to place his arms over his head so that they came to rest on the pillows, the slight elevation making it a little bit more comfortable. Yuuri automatically smiled down at him before he focussed on winding the tie around Victor’s wrists, making sure it was not bound too tight before he secured it with a firm knot.

His breathing became heavier when he straddled Victor’s chest and looked down at him. Another smile passed between them. Victor looked comfortable. Excited. Yuuri felt the trust placed in him and it made his heart hammer against his ribcage and plaster the small distance between them with congenial excitement. 

He kissed Victor when he put the blindfold over his eyes, missing the deep blue as soon as he couldn’t see it anymore. Victor made a sound, something like quiet approval with a touch of lust. It made Yuuri swallow down a whole wad of emotions.

“You look…” Yuuri cleared his throat. “Beautiful. At ease.”

Victor smiled. His anticipation, his every sentiment of beautiful pain and pleasure was palpable. He trusted him, unconditionally, and the absolute certainty of it made Yuuri silently hope and pray for so much more time to spend with Victor, enough time to feel every possible feeling and thrill and sensation ever, and then start all over again and never stop. It was an emotion that made his chest feel tight and his heart ache with beautiful pain. And he didn’t know how to possibly articulate this, unless he let it leap right up his throat and shouted it at the world at the top of his lungs.

In his attempts at learning the local language he had come across this term that he could not find a suitable expression for in any of the other languages he brought into the mix. No translation really did the term justice, but here and now Yuuri suddenly understood its full meaning. _To let yourself fall._ Here and now, where each of Victor’s softest sounds and languid motions was utter trust and comfort and certainty that when he let himself fall, Yuuri would catch him. Yuuri had never felt so _here_ before, so right in one place and time, so meant to be everything. And something told him, understanding ringing loud all around and inside him, that neither had Victor. Yuuri hoped and knew at the same time that Victor wanted this. And very selfishly, Yuuri wanted this, too. He wanted Victor to feel like this, to feel with him like he had felt with no other partner, with nobody else before. Yuuri could feel it in every breath, every shudder, how we was allowed under Victor’s armour, under his skin.

He meet each one of those breaths with a caress that brought forth a new sigh, every shudder with a kiss to trembling skin that broke into a new one. Yuuri took pleasure in watching Victor enjoy feeling him, enjoy his every touch. He didn’t leave it too long, not this time, Yuuri decided as he kissed his way back up the inside of a hard thigh that had fallen to the side for him invitingly and was strained with tension. And he would have loved to linger, would have loved to taste some more of the silky muskiness as he dragged his tongue along Victor’s cock in one long swipe, but he had taken his time already, and Victor’s birthday was not the day to take chances, no matter how delicious Victor cock felt brushing against his arse when he straddled his waist once again and reached for his chest to remove the clamps.

A loud hiss wound from Victor’s mouth as the feeling returned to his nipples. The sensations rocked through Yuuri’s body, too, Victor using his tied wrists and forearms to add force to the way he arched into him, his legs moving restlessly behind Yuuri as he rubbed his ankles together. Yuuri fell forward, hands cupping Victor’s face, and he licked his lips before he kissed him. There was the finest film of perspiration right above Victor’s mouth, and Yuuri kissed that, too.

“Victor…” Yuuri murmured against his lips. “I want you so much.”

Victor’s tongue darted out like an answer, plunging right home into the needy warmth of Yuuri’s mouth for a kiss so desperate that they barely managed to stop even when they were gasping for air.

Two words were whispered so urgently and so quietly they could barely be heard, but Yuuri knew he would have heard them anyway, anywhere. There was a “Use me” in the moulding of each of Victor’s angles into every one of Yuuri’s curves, every arch of Victor’s body into Yuuri’s touch, in every laboured breath that was Yuuri’s name.

Yuuri was glad there was no “please” to follow. Against everything he was born and bred with, Yuuri didn’t need marks of respect now. He didn’t need Victor’s politeness. He needed this - Victor’s greed, and his compassion. He needed to be the one person allowed to look behind the last of the masks Victor wore for the world. He needed to see all the sides of Victor nobody else ever got to see, needed to know the Victor nobody else ever got to know. All he needed was to be the only one. He needed Victor’s need to turn his whole world upside down and paint every room in his own colours. He needed _this_. When they came together like two forces of nature that each craved the other to make one all-encompassing whole. He needed the euphoria, the slotting together at the seams of different pieces that made them, until they found their complementations and their compromises and fit just right.

“Yuuri…” Victor smiled the name more than he said it. The way he sprawled on the bed showed no trace of inhibition, just unabashed comfort. “I feel so spoilt.”

“Good,” Yuuri huffed, and only realised when he heard his own voice that he had said it out loud. He hid his face very quickly in the curve of Victor’s throat, but Victor’s amusement was obvious from the way his body trembled with the soft, breathless laughter Yuuri was addicted to. Yuuri closed his eyes and smiled against the heat of Victor’s skin. He wanted him to feel exactly like this. Exactly like he looked and felt right now, flushed and at ease in their intimacy, absolutely confident in the feeling of being loved.

“Mhm?” Yuuri raised his head from the curve of Victor’s neck he had been busy peppering with kisses so that he couldn’t be sure he had heard correctly.

“Precious,” Victor repeated and found Yuuri’s face with his lips, skimming kisses over his cheekbones and chin with a tenderness Yuuri felt to the very core of himself.

“You’re precious, Yuuri, and I love the way you make me feel. I missed this… how cherished and loved you make me feel.” Under the blindfold, Victor’s cheeks took on a delicious shade of pink.

Yuuri felt those to the core as well, the stings and stabs every time he thought about Victor feeling lonely, all the moments he had missed someone, and then all these other moments he had missed _him_ , Yuuri.

He was going to drive them out, Yuuri knew as he kissed his determination all over Victor’s collarbone and down to his heart. He was going to make Victor forget that they had ever existed, moments when Yuuri was not there to take care of him and treat him so well. His lashes brushed over the skin of Victor’s chest as he rested his face there and gave back a kiss Victor had once placed right above Yuuri’s heart. With his hands tied, Victor could only shift beneath him, arch into Yuuri’s touch, and Yuuri closed his eyes and drank in the beating of Victor’s heart.

He wanted Victor to know that there was no room for the need to be strong at all times in this space they created for themselves. There was only room for the soft and the needy that Victor was hiding under his suits, and for how strong that made him. There was no room for the feeling that Victor could not impose this on others and that he should always be the shoulder to lean on. Because Yuuri was here now, and he was determined to fill out this space and be that support. To be that safety net Victor could allow himself to fall back on. Yuuri was here to take care of every side of Victor, and he would make himself so at home in every nook and cranny of Victor that there was no doubt about him ever going away.

_This_ was the gift Yuuri wanted Victor to have for his birthday.

Chest heaving with ragged breaths, Yuuri reached for the knot that tied Victor’s wrists and undid it with eager hands. Victor winced when he lowered his arms, pain briefly contorting what was visible of his face. Yuuri brought his forehead against Victors, slipped one hand under his hair. It felt damp to his touch, just as the blindfold felt soft against his tightly shut eyes.

“It’s fine,” Victor murmured, one hand caressing Yuuri’s back like an affirmation. “I’m fine.”

He added his other hand, to draw those enticing circles all across Yuuri’s back that had the power to drive Yuuri insane. Yuuri gave them a moment, faces close together so that they breathed the same breath. It was when Victor began to move more underneath him, when those hands plunged dangerously low and fingertips dipped between Yuuri’s butt cheeks, teasing, searching, demanding, that Yuuri rose onto his knees again with a quietly muttered curse of acute need.

“Victor…” He barely recognised his own voice, it was laced with so many feelings at once.

Victor merely made a low sound at the back of his throat that could have meant anything from need to resignation. There was a quiet dull sound when his arms fell to his sides on the bed almost like in defeat.

Yuuri had to smile. “Remember when you said you want to spend the rest of your life with—”

“My mouth between your butt cheeks? It would be my pleasure.” Victor smirked. “And _yours_.”

Yuuri shook his head with the smallest chuckle as changed his position so that he was still straddling Victor but facing the other way now. For a moment he felt self-conscious, almost glad Victor couldn’t see him, for he was sure this didn’t look like the most elegant movements he had ever made. Very slowly, carefully, he inched backwards on his knees, until he felt Victor’s arms slip into the crook of his knees and of course, of _course_ , Victor let his fingers dance over the back and then around to the front of Yuuri’s thighs like an invitation. Thighs locked around Victor’s shoulders and Victor’s arms wound around his legs, Yuuri felt a crazy urge to move his hips.

“I should have left your hands tied,” Yuuri muttered. They were just so damn distracting.

“You should fuck yourself on my tongue,” Victor retorted, breathy, husky, while his fingers ran up and down the side of Yuuri’s thighs with an urgency that made Yuuri wonder he wasn’t just grabbing him and pulling him down on his face.

Victor’s low, raspy “Yes!” made Yuuri bite his lip. Victor sounded so wrecked, so eager for what he couldn’t see, only feel above his face. Just from this one word alone it was clear how much he wanted what he was sure to get from Yuuri’s position above him, from the way he moved. Yuuri, too, felt Victor’s breath already, hot and stuttering like a promise. And he had been anticipating this, had been getting ready for this explicitly in the shower, but it was always as exhilarating and breathtaking as the first time. He waited another couple of frantic heartbeats, but the touch of a hot, impatient wet tongue lapping at him was too much. His resistance broke, and he lowered himself onto Victor’s face.

Victor moaned. It sounded muffled, and so glad that it made Yuuri moan, too. That it made him _move_.

Most probably his eyes rolled back just as much as his shoulders did and his head tilted as far as possible, so it was just as well that nobody saw, Yuuri thought. He became fluid motion, eyes shut but mouth open with uncontrolled sounds of lust that were half moans, half helpless, because he felt good, so _good_ , too good to be coherent. Without sight, Victor’s fingers dug into the lush skin of Yuuri’s thighs like they had no other place to call home. They complemented each other, soft skin and firm muscle and toned calves moving together perfectly where Victor’s arms were hooked around Yuuri’s legs and Yuuri pushed back into the touch of hot, eager mouth. Victor relied on what Yuuri knew by now was the power of his mouth alone, and he was greedy. Licking into Yuuri like all his senses were concentrated in his tongue and the sheer confidence he pushed it into every roll of Yuuri’s hips. He moaned as enthusiastically as he would over a delicious meal and it made Yuuri blush as fiercely as if Victor had spelt out the actual words of just how much he enjoyed to taste him.

Victor loved this, and if Yuuri had not known it he would know it now. He felt it in every enthusiastic stroke of Victor’s tongue, he heard it in every moan of pleasure. And while Yuuri loved it too, being spoilt so greedily and rocking back into hot, wet licks, he loved it even more because Victor did. It wasn’t something Victor enjoyed receiving as much as he enjoyed giving it, and Yuuri loved this, too, the beauty of preferring different things and yet finding such heady, enticing harmony together.

He forced his eyes open and felt the breath hitch in his throat at the sight of Victor’s body splayed out before him. He was perfection to Yuuri, creamy skin that was hot as marble that had come to life, the pink blotches of arousal and sheen of sweat not blemishing but enhancing. Pre-cum was seeping pearly from Victor’s cock. It looked painfully hard, angry red and bobbing against his stomach as his body rocked with the echo of Yuuri’s movements. From somewhere inside Yuuri the memory of his own birthday wound itself around him like a fondly remembered tune. He could almost see himself kneeling on a bed in Milan and Victor stepping behind him and gifting him with what he wanted the most. That was what he wanted for Victor, what he poured into the arch of his back and into every roll of his hips, into every move back onto Victor’s greedily licking tongue and the frantic hot breath against his rim. He wanted Victor to have everything he wanted the most, and if it meant riding his face while his cock was screaming for attention he would give him that, on this first birthday they spent together and every other birthday to come.

Another moan tore from Victor’s chest and entered Yuuri’s body with his tongue and all his need.

Yuuri didn’t have the heart to deny him release any longer. He rose on his knees and let himself fall forward, hands coming down on the bed left and right from Victor’s hips. The angle shifted slightly with his position, but it allowed him to push back onto Victor’s tongue just as well if not better, judging by the way Victor’s hands moved around his arse now and held his cheeks apart so that Yuuri felt exposed even though Victor was blindfolded. Victor moaned against his hole and let his tongue play around dirtily before he kissed him, moist lips kissing him wet and hot right there and sucking just unexpectedly and gently enough to make Yuuri release a loud, husky groan. His own cock hung heavy between his thighs but he didn’t want it touched right now, he wanted what Victor wanted. Few things got Yuuri off like hearing Victor moaning against his skin when he ate him out, when he saw and heard Victor so horny, when he felt more than heard the glad sighs between his butt cheeks and felt Victor’s tongue licking him as greedily as he was now. It found an echo inside Yuuri’s body, set motions swinging that resulted in the small, gyrating moves of his hips, pushing back against Victor’s mouth and onto his tongue like he loved nothing more than fucking himself on it, both of them eager for Victor’s tongue to work its way as deep inside as possible.

Victor’s cock was hot when Yuuri closed his fist around him, straining so angrily into his touch that Yuuri felt every vein pulsating. Dripping from being neglected and turned on for too long, it allowed for some friction when Yuuri wet his hand with the leaking pre-cum before he fisted around him and started to stroke him off. It only took about three expert thrusts of Yuuri’s hand, then Victor came. Yuuri felt the shudders wrecking Victor’s body, from the broken moan and the flat of tongue pressed against his rim, to jerking cock under his fingers, spurting hot over his own stomach and even up against Yuuri’s chest where Yuuri was leaning over him.

A tenderness as fierce as Victor’s orgasm washed over Yuuri. He lowered himself on his elbows, trembling in the knees by now and finding it harder to hold himself up. His fingers were still closed around the base of Victor’s quickly softening erection, ripples of release still coursing though. Yuuri dropped his head and sucked Victor’s oversensitive cock very gently into his mouth. He closed his eyes, craving an even deeper connection to Victor, who was relying on his mouth alone, deprived of sight, and of touch too, now that his arms had flopped on the bed like in defeat once more when he came. He was good, still good, so, so good with his mouth, Yuuri thought, overwhelmed by Victor moaning and licking at him relentlessly. Yuuri felt the weight of Victor’s cock on his tongue, tasted salt and musk in every drop he lapped up as greedily as Victor was working him with his mouth.

It cost Yuuri all his willpower to stop. To pull his mouth off of Victor’s cock and lick one last strip over the smooth, limp flesh like a goodbye and a promise in one. He wanted to bury his nose at the base of Victor’s cock and feel and breathe him at his most intimate but that, too, would have to wait. He bumped it to the top of the list for next time in his mind. Instead, he crawled just the smallest bit forward, far enough out of reach of Victor’s greedy mouth. He ignored the throaty sounds of protest behind him. He ignored the weight between his own legs too, his cock pulsing and dripping with want. For just a moment he hung his head and closed his eyes, the firm muscle of Victor’s shin the last thing he saw he before he squeezed them shut tight. It felt like superhuman extortion to support himself on one hand when he brought up the other and started rubbing at his right eye and the burning impact of a drop of sweat ran into it.

The blindfold was off when Yuuri turned around on his hands and knees, and Victor was looking at him from hooded eyes, messy and soaked silver hair plastered to his forehead and where it was carelessly wiped from his face. Yuuri felt the pink flush on his skin increase when he realised that this meant Victor had been watching him, even though he was sure it hadn’t been for long. And still. It made his cock throb with need.

“Kiss me, Yuuri.” Victor’s voice was husky and breathless. “ _Now_.”

There was no way Yuuri could not.

He was back up at the head of the bed and in Victor’s arms within seconds, draped half across Victor’s body with his tongue diving deep into a kiss that was more like devouring, and his cock grinding hard into Victor’s thigh. They became a ravel of stolen breaths and hungry, wet kisses, of pleads and murmurs of frantic need, of glowing bodies striving for each other, and hands trying desperately to find a hold on damp hair and sweaty skin. Without music playing in the background, Victor’s bedroom was resounding with the messy, incoherent noise of uncontrolled lust, and every moan and every curse and every whimper was nothing but the bare pleading for more.

All his senses attuned to just Victor, Yuuri thought he could feel the sight of Victor squirming on the bed like a violent catch of breath in his throat, the kind that makes you feel nauseous for a quick moment. Struggling for breath as well as for his senses, he watched Victor’s head turn to the side, watched his eyes and hand searching until he gripped the drawer in the bedside table like it had probably never been gripped before.

The lube and condom were pressed into his hands with the same urgency Yuuri felt about using them, and he could hear himself breathing obscenely loud when moved down on the crumpled bed. Victor’s legs were already parted for him, but he settled between them and pushed Victor’s thighs further apart as if there could be any doubt about his intentions. Victor pulled up his knees in the motion, his toes curling in the sheets as he used the position as leverage to rock his crotch like an invitation into Yuuri’s touch.

“Fuck!” Yuuri cursed and squeezed way too much lube over his fingers in haste.

“Yeah, now would be the time,” Victor said breathlessly somewhere above him.

For one helpless chuckle of disbelief long, Yuuri buried his face against the inside of one of Victor’s spread thighs, the vibrations of his laughter rippling through Victor’s body as well.

“Way too cocky, Nikiforov,” Yuuri said when he lifted his head, and any witty comment he had just given Victor the perfect opportunity to come up with was quickly drowned out by the long, low groan he brought forth when he dragged two slick fingers over Victor’s rim and started easing him up, teasing with just the tip of one finger while he listened to every single sound Victor made and let Victor’s body lead the way, every needy centimetre until one of his fingers was sunk all the way in and Victor sighed with bliss and almost soundlessly asked for more. Yuuri loved this part, when they became pliant and open for each other. He loved it when it was the other way round and he couldn’t wait to feel Victor inside him, that burning need and mounting of anticipation, when even closest wasn’t close enough, and everything primal and animalistic became beautiful and glorious.

“Yuuri.”

Yuuri’s head whipped up from where he had been getting carried away watching his fingers driving in and out Victor relentlessly and listening to the moans he had brought forth with every expert brush against Victor’s prostate.

“I swear if you don’t fuck me now I’m going to have to do it myself.”

Yuuri froze for just a sharp breath, for the hint of a smile, and then another hint of the shake of a head. There was something in the way Victor said those things that made him flustered and spring into action, something that challenged him and made him crave to be better, be best. He remembered Victor telling him very loud and clear not too long ago that he had no interest in fucking himself unless it was for the enjoyment of sharing the experience with another person. It was the connection he was craving. Yuuri felt this knowledge belong to him like his own name.

And still Victor never failed to surprise him.

He was reaching for Yuuri, but his hand was not empty.

Yuuri’s eyes darted from the things in Victor’s hand up to his face, his breath accelerating with every inch of skin his gaze covered along Victor’s arm until he felt nothing anymore but the pounding of the blood in his ears and the irrational and, as he knew, very much welcome wish to split Victor open with his cock.

Victor waited until Yuuri was ready between his legs, one hand smoothing the condom over his achingly hard cock and generously coating himself with lube. Only then did he hand the tie and the blindfold back to Yuuri with a smile and a glance and a tilt of his head, all of them eager, challenging invitation that left Yuuri feeling like the most excited and the luckiest man on earth.

Everything became blissfully mind-numbing and efficient from there. Victor’s smile under the blindfold like the cat that got the cream. The way he placed one wrist over the other above his head like he couldn’t wait for Yuuri to tie them again, all disdain of his least favourite tie in the world forgotten. The restless turning of his head on the bed and the low, rustling sound it made, silver hair on dark grey sheets. The low moan that wound from his chest when Yuuri sank into him and felt the addictive tight heat clenching around him that he would never stop wanting again, ever. The hard, almost painful grip of Victor’s legs around Yuuri as he tried to hold him closer, pull him deeper, as if Yuuri wasn’t filling every single part of him already with his hunger, his need, his devotion, his _love_.

The breathless moans spilling Yuuri’s name over Victor’s lips again and again like a mantra.

The slapping of skin on skin when Yuuri pounded fast and relentlessly into him.

Yuuri welcomed all of it. He craved it. He got high on how time dissolved into insignificance and everything subjected to the music he and Victor created together, this symphony of wild abandon and greed and, underneath it all, the foundation of deep, trusting affection that made everything possible and turned even fast porny fucking into an act of love. It was glorious, Yuuri thought, it felt glorious. _They_ were. _They_ did.

And he hated how he felt that he wasn’t going to last long like this, no matter how hard he tried.

Victor’s face under him was just way too enticing, the erratic gasps for breath and the quiet moans chopping a much too deep, leaking cut into Yuuri’s frantic determination to make this even better, even when every single one of Victor’s reactions told him he couldn’t possibly make this any better. Any other man might have stopped here. But Yuuri wanted more. And this was what he excelled at. Rising to a challenge.

Head thrown back with an almighty, shaking gulp for air, Yuuri slowed down. He ignored Victor’s little grumpy sigh of protest and the greedy legs that tightened around him and tried to force him deeper, faster, until they gave up and fell away to his sides.

Yuuri shifted his weight to one elbow so that he was able to use one hand. He leaned over Victor, reached up to where Victor’s tied wrists were just about touching down on the corner of the bed. The knot was difficult to open with just one hand. Victor had been moving about his restraints quite some and tightened the knot Yuuri had fastened. At last the viscose gave way. Yuuri very nearly made a joke about the cheap material Victor loved to be outraged about not being so bad after all, but this was not the time and place. His face contorted in sympathy when Victor winced, able to move his arms again. His hands only fell away to the left and right of his head on the bed, arms still bent in the elbows. Yuuri slid down a little again, the movement making his cock brush Victor so deliciously from the inside that they both gasped.

Yuuri slipped his thumb under the lower brim of the blindfold, exceedingly careful as he slowly pushed the blindfold up over Victor’s eyes and off until it joined the tie discarded somewhere over the edge of the bed.

“Hi,” Yuuri said softly when their eyes met. His hand cupped the picture of warm, flushed, damp skin and utter content that was Victor’s face, the flat of his thumb circling over pale skin that was burning pink with lust.

“Hi.” Victor smiled back at him, breathless, blissed out. 

The one syllable hitched because Yuuri shifted, and the movement extended from where they were touching to where they were joint until Yuuri thought he could see how Victor felt it, felt him, in every cell of his being. This was what he wanted, seeing himself in Victor’s widened eyes and knowing Victor saw himself as well.

This was what they both wanted.

All they needed.

“Are you alright?” Yuuri brushed the question against Victor’s lips with his mouth. He touched his face with both hands, fingertips brushing at the strands of sweaty hair sticking to Victor’s forehead.

Victor’s smile deepened. “Never better.”

They kissed, softly, light as a feather fallen on freshly fallen snow and sinking in slowly, slowly, everything they felt for each other sinking its hooks like delicate barbules into what was still unwritten of their story. Filling with meaning from the tip down until all the barbs joined together into a firm, strong vane and ran along in shivers down Yuuri’s spine like a quill filling with ink ready to write pages over pages of their story.

“I love you.” It was a whisper, just a snowflake, or a tear rolling down with the impact of a lead weight that sank right to the bottom of Yuuri’s ground. “Forever.”

“I know.” Yuuri drew in a sharp breath so heavy with emotion that it was more a sob. “I love you back.”

And Yuuri started moving again.

Just one slow twist of his hips had Victor’s hands flying up, fingers burying into his shoulders while Yuuri couldn’t have said what hurt more at this very moment, the impact of Victor gripping on and into him with everything he had, or the way his hair fell into his face as he looked down at Victor and they were absolutely incapable of averting their eyes from each other as they moved together, or his heart in his chest from the impact of loving and to be loved. He dropped his head when he came, Victor’s name nothing but a soundless shout on his lips, just hot breath against damp skin where his face came to rest and he went still while parts of him were still moving, rocking into Victor’s body until even the last wave of arousal had come and gone. Yuuri knew he should get up and get rid of the condom, clean them up just a little. But exhaustion suddenly settled upon him and kept him firmly in place, every part of his body yearning for a rest right here where he was. He felt Victor’s arms lock around his neck, holding him, an embrace as powerful as his exhaustion. One of Victor’s feet ran along the back of his calves mirroring an action of his own that seemed a lifetime ago now. He could feel Victor’s voice more than he heard it, breathless low murmurs right next to his ear.

Eventually, they were still, except for their hearts still hammering where their chests were pressed together, in a lively, thriving rhythm that had nothing to do with physical exertion and would not calm down.

There was so much Yuuri wanted to say, but he found no words in him just now, only feelings, and those were too new and powerful, he wasn’t quite sure he would be able to phrase them. Instead, he wriggled just a little in Victor’s embrace until it gave way and he was able to rise onto his hands and knees. Luckily he was sure his face was still flushed crimson from extortion, because he could feel Victor looking at him, again, like he was scared of missing any of Yuuri’s movements ever. And despite all the rocks they had shifted tonight, Yuuri _still_ felt a little embarrassed being watched by Victor as he discarded of the condom and grabbed some tissues from the box on the bedside table, cleaning both of them up in haste as much as he possibly could.

His eyes darted to the inside of Victor’s arm and he swallowed hard, watching the play of muscles as Victor reached above his head for the buttons on the side of the fancy headboard of his bed and suddenly darkness settled over them like a warm, comfortable blanket. Yuuri blinked into the almost-black, the silver glow of the stylish night light that dipped the room into a warmth he knew he would not ask about and not doubt because it was a part of Victor, and Yuuri knew would be a part of him, perhaps already was.

He felt Victor reach for him, and the weariness was as acute as it was pleasant. Tomorrow, Yuuri thought as he moulded his body instinctively into Victor’s embrace and what had become their favourite sleeping position. He would tell Victor tomorrow. And every other day, everything he couldn’t put into words just now.

“Happy birthday to me,” Victor murmured. Yuuri could feel the quiet chuckle against his lips. He laughed quietly, and felt Victor’s arms close around him like in reply.

Always have to have the final say, Nikiforov, Yuuri thought and pulled him closer, pulled the blanket almost all the way up to where their smiles were touching in a tender goodnight kiss.

He liked always.

**Author's Note:**

> The face-sitting was much inspired by a naughty gif I found on the interwebs. I’ll quite miss staring at it for research purposes. xD


End file.
